When Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz first announced at an employee town hall in April that the company was looking to get into NFTs, I assumed he was just hoping for a headline to distract from all the union busting they’d been doing. After all, they already have a rewards program that by all appearances seems to be quite successful.

Despite that, Starbucks has apparently decided that what its rewards program really needs are « digital collectible stamps », a euphemism for NFTs that somehow makes them sound even less appealing.

These NFTs promise to provide their holders with « immersive coffee experiences », which sounds an awful lot like what cost McDonald’s a few million in the mid-nineties.

Unfortunately for Starbucks, between the time they came up with the idea, announced it at their town hall, and are now inviting people to sign up to the waitlist, the NFT craze has died down considerably. Even at the peak of NFT mania, though, I’m not sure if people would have been lining up to buy « digital collectible stamps » that allow them to « claim an ownership stake in their loyalty to Starbucks » (what??)